Paying Child Support If Spouse Withholds Parenting Time

My ex sprung a child support payment after my daughters turned two. We broke up shortly after their first birthday, but I got stuck with back child support because I just gave her cash and bought everything myself. She quit letting me get my court ordered parenting time as we’ll as not let me have any say in their life. I’m worried the back child support which continues to rise will bury me. Is there any way I can get out of the hole without paying her a fortune? She has not followed any court orders with me.

Your obligation to pay child support is independent of your right to see your kids. If she is not letting you see your kids, you need to take her back to court. However, your child obligation does not cease just because you are not seeing your kids.

If your financial circumstances have changed (gotten worse) since the original child support order, you might be able to seek a modification. However, you need to pay her something every month. Failure to do so could land you in jail. At the very least she could get a judgment against you for past due child support which accrues interest at the rate of 12% per MONTH.

Taking Child Out of State While Married

Can my wife take my daughter out of the state without my permission while we are having marital issues?

Yes. Unless one of you has filed for a divorce or legal separation and absent any other court orders to the contrary, your wife can take your daughter out of state.

Does Hostile Aggressive Parenting Effect Custody Arrangements?

Does the court recognize Parental Alienation, Malicious Mother’s Syndrome, or Hostile Aggressive Parenting when it comes to custody battles? My husband has had to put up with so much from his ex-wife at the expense of his children getting hurt.  She has displayed many signs of Hostile Aggressive parenting and we have no idea what his rights are. We have the children in counseling and are documenting everything, but does the court system even touch on this subject? We are very concerned for the children and can see that it has effected them negatively.  What are our options?

If the children are being emotionally or physically harmed while in the care of their mother, and the counselor will back you up, your husband needs to file either a motion to modify parenting time or an emergency motion to restrict parenting time, or both.

Moving Out-of-State with Child

How can I go about moving my son and I to Texas?  He was born there, as was I. I have nearly full custody of my son; my ex has 36 hours per month with him, in addition to holidays.  The rest of the time he is with me.  I have no family here, no support other than her family – who are all hostile to me.  It is well known that being a single parent is hard at best, but in my situation, it is more so.  I have family in Texas who can help, plus the numerous other reasons I have for moving.  Yet, the documents I have say my son can not leave the state without consent or a court order.  She will not consent, and has told me that she will probably lose in court, but will fight me anyway.  I just want a better, more peaceful environment in which to raise my boy.  What do I need to do in order to get that court order?

You will need to file a motion to modify custody and request that you be allowed to relocate out of state with your son. The court will probably appoint a CFI to investigate and make recommendations to the court as to your son’s best interests.

Can Court Order Visitation?

My x-girfriend makes life impossible. Can a court force me to visit the child even though i dont want to? Please help. I thank you in advance

NO, the court can’t force you to visit your child. However, a court can force you to pay child support notwithstanding the fact that you are not seeing your child.

Adjustments to Visitation Based on Child’s Wishes

My husband has an 11 year old daughter from his first marriage.  She recently asked why she could not live with us half the time and her mom half the time.  Her mother is very against this as it would mean a reduction in the child support that she receives. (This has been the biggest reason that she is able to give us) If we take her to court to change the parenting time, Do we have a chance of being awarded additional time with his daughter?  Especially since it is the child that is asking for this?

It depends on a lot of factors such as the amount of time your husband now has with his daughter, the reasons why his daughter wants to live with you 1/2 the time. Are there abuse or neglect issues going on at the mother’s house? Is she having social adjustment issues, problems with school or mental health issues? These are all questions which must be answered to determine your chances of success. If you don’t have enough to warrant a 50/50 time split with his daughter, you may be able to increase the amount of time you now have regardless.

Seeking Visitation Rights with Baby

What rights do I have? My ex-girlfriend and I had a baby in September. We are no longer together,but I want to have a relationship with my daughter I do not get along with her parents and the only way she will let me see her is if I go to her parents house and visit her, she wont let me pick up the baby. It is very uncomfortable and very hard to establish a relationship. Her parents got her an attorney and had me served with papers to agree to giving her full custody and limited visitation with them supervising it! I have 24days to respond and I dont know what to do,or what course of action I should take. Please Help. Thank You.

You definitely have rights. Do NOT sign anything. You will need to go to court to get an allocation of parental responsibility which will determine decision making and parenting time as well as child support.

Steps Against Manipulative Mother

We have had residential custody of my daughter (step) for the last 5 yrs, taking care of her school, doctors, dentists, therapy, etc.  Mom hasn’t had anything to do with any of it until now.  She is pushing her way in behind our back and having the teachers, etc. feel as if we are not doing our job.  The other family has continued to manipulate her and the therapist is concerned with her having sociopathic tendencies.  She is a great hardship on our marriage and our other 3 children as well as other children we sit for.  Not only once in a while but on a constant day to day basis. Mom doesn’t pay for anything and we are considering switching to letting mom have the residential custody. We know she would press for child support even though we would agree to pay for her expenses.  Is there anything due to us for the past 5 yrs and will we be able to continue to take her to her therapy and doctor appts?  Mom has refused to take her in past….thanks in advance.

It depends on the court orders that have been entered. Is there an order that she pay you child support? Was this a divorce, allocation or paternity action? If she is that unstable, why would you even consider giving her custody of your step daughter? If the therapist is concerned that she has sociopathic tendencies, you should consider filing a motion to restrict her parenting time, request supervised visits or therapy if appropriate.

Protecting Child from Potential Abuse

tHE FATHER OF MY 8 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER HAS VISITATION ORDERS AND FOR THE FIRST TIME I AM VIOLATING MY ORDERS TO PROTECT HER. sHE HAS REPORTED VERBAL, EMOTIONAL,MENTAL ABUSE, PLUS HER FATHER HAS AN DRINKING INJUNCTION AND HAS BEEN DRINKING AND DRIVING WITH HER, PLUS AT HER THERAPIST I FOUND OUT HE IS ALLOWING A FAMILY MEMBER WHO WE SUSPECTED OF BEING SEXULLY INDECENT WITH HER AND AGREED NOT TO ALLOW HER TO BE ALONE WITH THIS PERSON THAT HE HAS BEEN ALLOWING MY DAUGHTER TO STAY WITH THIS PERSON DURING HER VISITATIONS WITH HIM AND ASKING HER TO LIE TO ME. I TRIED GETTING HELP FROM LEGAL AID BUT THEY DO NOT HAVE FUNDS FOR THIS TYPE OF CASE AND I CAN NOT AFFORD AN ATTORNEY. I HAVE CONTACTED CPS AND FILED A REPORT BUT MY DAUGHTER DOES NOT WANT TO GO WITH HIM AND I FEEL IF I ALLOW HER TO GO I AM BEING A NEGLECTFUL PARENT. wHAT CAN i DO AND WILL I GET INTO TROUBLE FOR PROTECTING HER? WHAT RIGHTS DO I HAVE?

You need to file a motion to restrict the father’s visitation due to the emotional and/or physical harm you believe is occurring. If you can’t afford an attorney, try calling the University of Denver law school student legal clinic, or call the Colorado Bar Association and get referrals to low fee groups and or specific attorneys.

Custody Concerns Over Pregnant, Out-of-State Ex

My ex is living in Tenn. She says she’s pregnant with my child. What do I need to do to start a custody battle if that child is mine?

Is she your x-wife or x-girl friend? Were you married or divorced in Tenn? If your x is living in Tennessee permanently and the baby is born in Tennessee, Tennessee will have jurisdiction over the child to determine custody rights.

If your X consents, you may be able to have your DNA matched against the unborn baby’s DNA. If that is not possible, after the baby is born you would have the right to file a paternity action and request a DNA test. If it is positive and you are the father, then your next steps in court would be establishing parenting time, decision making and establishing child support.

Does Alcohol Consumption Affect Visitation Rights?

My brother left his wife after 11 years together and 6 years of marriage. He took care of the children at night while she worked. My brother likes to drink occasionally and now she is trying to get where he has to go to rehab and have supervised visitation. He does not drink when he is with the kids. He is not asking to take them overnight just to see them on the weekends. Can she do this? Can she make it court ordered for him to do this in order to see the kids?

It depends on what facts are presented to the judge, if a child custody evaluator has been appointed, and what the child custody evaluator recommends after investigating the allegations. If the court determines that the allegations are true and that the children are not safe around your brother, the Judge can order supervised visits, and alcohol treatment if necessary.

Unmarried Custody Decisions

If we are not common law married, how do we determine custody, visitation and child support for our children?

You will have to file either a Paternity Action or an action for Allocation of Parental Responsibilities and Decision Making. The Court will then decide all issues relative to your children including child support.

Even Visitation Rights

Can I get 50/50 parenting time with my wife?

The Courts are awarding men significant amounts of parenting time with their children. Although the Courts don’t usually split the parenting time equally, men are getting 35% to 40% of the time in a lot of cases. The amount of parenting time will depend on the relationship that you have already established with your children, how much time you have routinely spent with them, their ages and if they are old enough, and their desires will be taken into consideration.

Primary Custody

Can I be named the primary custodian?

In many cases, men are awarded the primary care and control of their children. The Court will consider several factors such as which parent had the role of being the primary care giver when the family was in tact, the time each parent has available to spend with their children, and how closely bonded the children are with a particular parent.

Visitation Rights

My wife says the kids don’t want to see me. Can I force them to visit with me?

The younger the children are, absent allegations of abuse, the less their wants and desires are considered by the Court. The Court will order that you have visitation with your children. Once children become teenagers and start thinking for themselves, so long as your ex-spouse is not interfering with your visitation rights, the Courts will not force a child to visit with his/her parent if they don’t want to do so.

Rights of Primary Residential Parent

My husband has 2 children from his previous marriage aged 10 and 8. In his parenting plan it states that they have joint custody of the kids and the mother will be primary residential parent. It goes on to say “she is listed as such only because state and federal laws require one parent be named.” We’d like to know what exactly this wording means. The kids want to come live with us………there’s many situations at their mom’s house, but we’d like to avoid a court battle if at all possible. She’s already told them no.

It is a designation used by other states to indicate that the mother is the primary parent. Colorado no longer uses that designation.

Father’s Visitation Rights Denied

My exwife has illegally denied my parenting time many times, a total of 28 days in the past 3 years alone, even after being warned by judges. This past Memorial Day weekend she did it again, I have an e-mail stating that I should “just not show up”. Shouldn’t she be seriously reprimanded?, the judges seemed very serious, but she has little regard for the law. What can I do?, I have driven thousands of miles for nothing, only to be spurned.

You need to file a contempt citation against her and a motion for make up parenting time. If found in contempt, she could go to jail.

Moving Children Out of State

My wife has decided to move to Pa. with our 3 kids., how do I protect my custody/visitation before she leaves, (w/i 1-2 weeks) please help., What do I need to do?

You need to file for divorce or legal separation immediately. An automatic restraining order would prevent her from leaving the state with your kids.

Priority of Children’s Well-being

i would like to know about childrens rights to be protected, when 1 parent without custody can go to court and cost the custodial parent monies for transportation when it puts their well being, food, school days missed and everyday needs secondary to the parents visitation. can you please tell me if there is a way for the childrens wellbeing to come first?

The children’s well being always comes first. If this is not happening, you need to file an action with the court and obtain court orders protecting the children.

Can Court Order Paternity Test?

I was in Sterling working over the summer had a brief relationship with a women. Last month she contacted me and told me she was expecting a baby in January or February and the baby was mine. At the time she said she did not want the child and if I did not want the child she would put the baby up for adoption. I agreed that if the baby were mine I would take the baby and raise him or her. The only stipulation I had was a paternity test. The baby was born last week that leaves this questionable to the dates I was with her. However, I paid for the paternity test and did my part. I made two appointments for her, which she failed to keep. I have made another one for Monday 1/31. She is homeless and has a local church putting her up in a hotel for the next month. What I want is to have this paternity test completed and if this is my baby I want to do what is right. I’m very concerned for the baby if mine or not as she has been homeless for years. This is her second baby and she gave the first up for adoption. What can I do? Can the court order the paternity test. I’m prepared to hire an attorney if needed.

Yes, the court can definitely order a paternity test. You will need to file a paternity action in order to make this happen.

Can Mother’s Outburst Affect Custody?

My ex-wife created an incident at our son’s basketball game in which she had charges pressed against her and she was processed that weekend.  I took it upon myself to keep the kids with me, while waiting for my atty to motion for emergency custody until she got some type of help.  This was not done by my atty and her atty says she is entitled to have the children back home right now.  Well he have no court orders for custody right now.  She has them Mon-Wed I have them Thurs/Fri and every other Sat.  Now my kids have expressed to her that they don’t want to go home with her until she gets some counseling.  Can she make them go home without getting some help or even proving that she is enrolled in some type of helpful class?

Yes. Unless a motion to restrict is filed prohibiting contact between your ex-wife and your children, the original orders remain in effect and the children will be returned to her. You have to take affirmative action with the court before anything will change.

Parental Rights for Child outside Marriage

I am guilty of having an affair on my wife that has resulted in a baby. He is now 4 months old. I found out when he was 2 months old. My wife has stood by my side and we payed for the Paternity Test and have had joint physical custody with the mother of the baby for the last two months. I am trying to get her to make this parenting plan legal, by filling out the paper work and filing it with the courts. It has been a month and she has made up excuses on why she has not returned it to me so we can discuss the issues prior to filing. How do I get this process moving? What are my rights as a married man with a child outside my marriage, however I am willing to be in this childs life.

You are the father and have the same rights as though you had been married to the mother. The fact that you have never been married to the mother is irrelevant. You will need to file an Allocation of Parental Responsibility Action in the courts to protect your rights and obligations towards this baby. The court will establish “custody” in terms of decision making, parenting time and child support.

Transportation for Visitation

I have visitation rights written in my divorce decree but what I was wondering is do I have to pick up our kids and drop them off before and after every visit? Sincerely, Shawn Kantor

What does your agreement say regarding transportation? If it is silent, you need to discuss with your x-spouse. If you can’t agree, you can move to modify your agreement to address transportation issues.

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