Q: Can I get 50/50 parenting time with my wife?

A: The Courts are awarding men significant amounts of parenting time with their children. Although the Courts don’t usually split the parenting time equally, men are getting 35% to 40% of the time in a lot of cases. The amount of parenting time will depend on the relationship that you have already established with your children, how much time you have routinely spent with them, their ages and if they are old enough, and their desires will be taken into consideration.

Q: Can I be named the primary custodian?

A: In many cases, men are awarded the primary care and control of their children. The Court will consider several factors such as which parent had the role of being the primary care giver when the family was in tact, the time each parent has available to spend with their children, and how closely bonded the children are with a particular parent.

Q: My wife says the kids don’t want to see me. Can I force them to visit with me?

A: The younger the children are, absent allegations of abuse, the less their wants and desires are considered by the Court. The Court will order that you have visitation with your children. Once children become teenagers and start thinking for themselves, so long as your ex-spouse is not interfering with your visitation rights, the Courts will not force a child to visit with his/her parent if they don’t want to do so.

Q: Is it possible for the father of a child to have the child's name changed to be the same as his? Paternity has been establised post birth of the child, parents never lived together, father is paying child support and has visitation, child is living with mother, and mother would possibly disagree to name change.

A: Yes, it is possible to change the baby's last name to the father's. If a paternity action has been filed, it can be requested in that action.

Q: My husband has 2 children from his previous marriage aged 10 and 8. In his parenting plan it states that they have joint custody of the kids and the mother will be primary residential parent. It goes on to say "she is listed as such only because state and federal laws require one parent be named." We'd like to know what exactly this wording means. The kids want to come live with us.........there's many situations at their mom's house, but we'd like to avoid a court battle if at all possible. She's already told them no.

A: It is a designation used by other states to indicate that the mother is the primary parent. Colorado no longer uses that designation.

Q: My exwife has illegally denied my parenting time many times, a total of 28 days in the past 3 years alone, even after being warned by judges. This past Memorial Day weekend she did it again, I have an e-mail stating that I should "just not show up". Shouldn't she be seriously repremanded?, the judges seemed very serious, but she has little regard for the law. What can I do?, I have driven thousands of miles for nothing, only to be spurned.

A: You need to file a contempt citation against her and a motion for make up parenting time. If found in contempt, she could go to jail.

Q: My wife has decided to move to Pa. with our 3 kids., how do I protect my custody/visitation before she leaves, (w/i 1-2 weeks) please help., What do I need to do?

A: You need to file for divorce or legal separation immediately. An automatic restraining order would prevent her from leaving the state with your kids.

Q: i would like to know about childrens rights to be protected, when 1 parent without custody can go to court and cost the custodial parent monies for transportation when it puts their well being, food, school days missed and everyday needs secondary to the parents visitation. can you please tell me if there is a way for the childrens wellbeing to come first? thank you, barbara

A: The children's well being always comes first. If this is not happening, you need to file an action with the court and obtain court orders protecting the children.

Q: I was in Sterling working over the summer had a brief relationship with a women. Last month she contacted me and told me she was expecting a baby in January or February and the baby was mine. At the time she said she did not want the child and if I did not want the child she would put the baby up for adoption. I agreed that if the baby were mine I would take the baby and raise him or her. The only stipulation I had was a paternity test. The baby was born last week that leaves this questionable to the dates I was with her. However, I paid for the paternity test and did my part. I made two appointments for her, which she failed to keep. I have made another one for Monday 1/31. She is homeless and has a local church putting her up in a hotel for the next month. What I want is to have this paternity test completed and if this is my baby I want to do what is right. I'm very concerned for the baby if mine or not as she has been homeless for years. This is her second baby and she gave the first up for adoption. What can I do? Can the court order the paternity test. I'm prepared to hire an attorney if needed.

A: Yes, the court can definitely order a paternity test. You will need to file a paternity action in order to make this happen.

Q: My fiance is getting divorced and fighting for full parental responsibility. We are aware that we are swimming upstream. However, his lawyer seems to be coasting through this and just collecting our hard earned money. Can we change lawyers in the middle of a divorce?

A: Yes, you can change lawyers in the middle of a divorce.

Q: My ex-wife created an incident at our son's basketball game in which she had charges pressed against her and she was processed that weekend. I took it upon myself to keep the kids with me, while waiting for my atty to motion for emergency custody until she got some type of help. This was not done by my atty and her atty says she is entitled to have the children back home right now. Well he have no court orders for custody right now. She has them Mon-Wed I have them Thurs/Fri and every other Sat. Now my kids have expressed to her that they don't want to go home with her until she gets some counseling. Can she make them go home without getting some help or even proving that she is enrolled in some type of helpful class?

A: Yes. Unless a motion to restrict is filed prohibiting contact between your ex-wife and your children, the original orders remain in effect and the children will be returned to her. You have to take affirmative action with the court before anything will change.

Q: can a father relinqusih his rights to a child or is he stuck with a child that he did not want or know about for over a year? Does the mother have to agree to allow him to do this? Can the courts force him to have visitation with this child? Can the father request the mother of the child does not contact him?

A: Unless, another man wishes to adopt your child or your parental rights are terminated by the state as a result of a dependency & neglect action, unfortunately you are responsible for the child despite the fact that you did not want nor know anything about him/her. If another man wants to adopt your child, yes the mother would have to agree to it. No, a court cannot force you to visit with your child. Yes, the father can request that the mother not contact him.

Q: On May 28th 2005 my wife and I had our first child. In the passing week, she has decided that she no longers want to be together. She wants to move her and my little boy down to Texas. That is where her family is. What rights do I have? I'm the only source of income, I provide the medical insurance for both. She is not a US citizen or resident? I want to know what rights I have as a fathers. I really need help. she is now keeping the child from me. Any information would be helpful. Very Respectfully, Joseph Cordova

A: You need to file for a legal separation or divorce immediately. By so doing, an automatic injuction goes into effect which prohibits either party from removing the children from the state of Colorado without consent or a court order.

Q: My wife and I have been married for 8 years and two children (2 years and 4 years of age). A few days ago, my wife informed me she was pregnant; in addition, she stated the child might not be mine. She apparently had an affair for a few months which she states she now regrets, but may be carrying someone elses child as a result. I am not sure what to do. Should I decide to get divorced, do I have any chance of getting full custody of my children (my wife states no as this typically is awarded to the Mother)? She has been a good Mother, and I felt I have been a good Dad, but the fact of her carruing someone elses child is hard for me to deal with; let alone the father to be keeps calling me at work and home to inform me about the affair (I dont want him to be around my children).

A: The fact that your wife had an affair does not by itself impact custody. If your wife is living with this person and has issues which affect your children's safety or well being, the court will certainly consider those factors in awarding custody.

Q: I have visitation rights written in my divorce decree but what I was wondering is do I have to pick up our kids and drop them off before and after every visit? Sincerely, Shawn Kantor

A: What does your agreement say regarding transportation? If it is silent, you need to discuss with your x-spouse. If you can't agree, you can move to modify your agreement to address transportation issues.

Q: How can I go about moving my son and I to Texas? He was born there, as was I. I have nearly full custody of my son; my ex has 36 hours per month with him, in addition to holidays. The rest of the time he is with me. I have no family here, no support other than her family - who are all hostile to me. It is well known that being a single parent is hard at best, but in my situation, it is more so. I have family in Texas who can help, plus the numerous other reasons I have for moving. Yet, the documents I have say my son can not leave the state without consent or a court order. She will not consent, and has told me that she will probably lose in court, but will fight me anyway. I just want a better, more peaceful environment in which to raise my boy. What do I need to do in order to get that court order?

A: You will need to file a motion to modify custody and request that you be allowed to relocate out of state with your son. The court will probably appoint a CFI to investigate and make recommendations to the court as to your son's best interests.

Q: My x-girfriend makes life impossible.Can a court force me to visit the child even though i dont want to? Please help. I thank you in advance

A: NO, the court can't force you to visit your child. However, a court can force you to pay child support notwithstanding the fact that you are not seeing your child.

Q: My husband has an 11 year old daughter from his first marriage. She recently asked why she could not live with us half the time and her mom half the time. Her mother is very against this as it would mean a reduction in the child support that she receives. (This has been the biggest reason that she is able to give us) If we take her to court to change the parenting time, Do we have a chance of being awarded additional time with his daughter? Especially since it is the child that is asking for this?

A: It depends on a lot of factors such as the amount of time your husband now has with his daughter, the reasons why his daughter wants to live with you 1/2 the time. Are there abuse or neglect issues going on at the mother's house? Is she having social adjustment issues, problems with school or mental health issues? These are all questions which must be answered to determine your chances of success. If you don't have enough to warrant a 50/50 time split with his daughter, you may be able to increase the amount of time you now have regardless.

Q: What rights do I have? My ex-girlfreind and I had a baby in September. We are no longer together,but I want to have a relationship with my daughter I do not get along with her parents and the only way she will let me see her is if I go to her parents house and visit her, she wont let me pick up the baby. It is very uncomfortable and very hard to establish a relationship. Her parents got her an attorney and had me served with papers to agrre to giving her full custody and limited visitation with them supervising it! I have 24days to respond and I dont know what to do,or what course of action I should take. Please Help. Thank You.

A: You definitely have rights. Do NOT sign anything. You will need to go to court to get an allocation of parental responsibility which will determine decision making and parenting time as well as child support.

Q: We have had residential custody of my daughter (step) for the last 5 yrs, taking care of her school, doctors, dentists, therapy, etc. Mom hasn't had anything to do with any of it until now. She is pushing her way in behind our back and having the teachers, etc. feel as if we are not doing our job. The other family has continued to manipulate her and the therapist is concerned with her having sociopathic tendencies. She is a great hardship on our marriage and our other 3 children as well as other children we sit for. Not only once in a while but on a constant day to day basis. Mom doesn't pay for anything and we are considering switching to letting mom have the residential custody. We know she would press for child support even though we would agree to pay for her expenses. Is there anything due to us for the past 5 yrs and will we be able to continue to take her to her therapy and doctor appts? Mom has refused to take her in past....thanks in advance.

A: It depends on the court orders that have been entered. Is there an order that she pay you child support? Was this a divorce, allocation or paternity action? If she is that unstable, why would you even consider giving her cutody of your step daughter? If the therapist is concerned that she has sociopathic tendencies, you should consider filing a motion to restrict her parenting time, request supervised visits or therapy if appropriate.

Q: My wife left and went back to NJ to get some space with my 3 1/2 month old daughter a week and a half ago. This was unexpected and not normal. She claims that she needs some time apart. I do not want to file for legal seperation or divorce. My wife claims she wants our marrage to work. I want to see both her and my daughter. She is claiming that I am a very negitive person and I am verbally abusing her. She claims to be scarred of me. I have never physicaly or verbalaly abused her. She does not like Colorado and she does not want to live here. I have a carear, friends and A life here. I agreed to move back to the east coast but not until this fall. I think she is making me look like the bad guy so she has an excuse to leave CO. I guess she could not wait for the fall! What do I do to protect myself now and if she decides not to come back? I do not want to make things worse than they already are. I would like to work things out in the most friendly and non-legal way as possible. This is a very stressful situation. Please help. Thank you, Andrew

A: If your wife is living in NJ, you need to file an action in Colorado for either Legal Separation or Divorce. After she's been in NJ for 6 months, if not sooner for various reasons, the NJ court will have jurisdiction over your daughter and you will have no choice but to defend in NJ. You need a court order now from the state of Colorado before too much time goes by.

Q: tHE FATHER OF MY 8 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER HAS VISITATION ORDERS AND FOR THE FIRST TIME I AM VIOLATING MY ORDERS TO PROTECT HER. sHE HAS REPORTED VERBAL, EMOTIONAL,MENTAL ABUSE, PLUS HER FATHER HAS AN DRINKING INJUNCTION AND HAS BEEN DRINKING AND DRIVING WITH HER, PLUS AT HER THERAPIST I FOUND OUT HE IS ALLOWING A FAMILY MEMBER WHO WE SUSPECTED OF BEING SEXULLY INDECENT WITH HER AND AGREED NOT TO ALLOW HER TO BE ALONE WITH THIS PERSON THAT HE HAS BEEN ALLOWING MY DAUGHTER TO STAY WITH THIS PERSON DURING HER VISITATIOSN WITH HIM AND ASKING HER TO LIE TO ME. I TRIED GETTING HELP FROM LEGAL AID BUT THEY DO NOT HAVE FUNDS FOR THIS TYPE OF CASE AND I CAN NOT AFFORD AN ATTOURNEY. I HAVE CONTACTED CPS AND FILED A REPORT BUT MY DAUGHTER DOES NOT WANT TO GO WITH HIM AND I FEEL IF I ALLOW HER TO GO I AM BEING A NEGLECTFUL PARENT. wHAT CAN i DO AND WILL I GET INTO TROUBLE FOR PROTECTING HER? WHAT RIGHTS DO I HAVE?

A: You need to file a motion to restrict the father's visitation due to the emotional and/or physical harm you believe is occurring. If you can't afford an attorney, try calling the University of Denver law school student legal clinic, or call the Colorado Bar Association and get referrals to low fee groups and or specific attorneys.

Q: I have a 15 year old daughter from a previous marriage. My daughter has become almost completely withdrawn. She is currently not attending school, is on anti-depressants, and is borderline anorexic. I have extreme concern for my daughters well being and her mothers abilities and intentions. In 15 years my daughter has never called me back after I leave a message for her and I rarely get to talk to her on the phone despite numerous attempts. Until recently, I have had regular parenting time with her. However, her mother has come to me and said that my daughter no longer wants to visit. As you previously indicated, the court can't force her to spend time with me. My question is what should I do to ensure that she is in a safe situation, that not seeing me is in fact her wishes, and that she and me are not victims of alienation which I believe this to be a classic case of.

A: You should file a motion to enforce the parenting agreement and request a modification of the parenting time. The court will most likely appoint a child and family investigator which is either an attorney or mental health professional to investigate and find out what is going on. They will interview everyone including your ex, your daughter, people close to her or who went to school with, teachers or counselors she may have known while attending shcool, you , your new spouse or family if you have one, and any other person they deem to be of interest to your situation. You can voice your concerns to the CFI. The CFI can recommend that she get a psychological evaluation or be evaluated for depression or anxiety and obtain the proper treatment, if any. That is the only way you'll be able to gain insight and knowledge as to what is really going on with your daughter.

Q: My ex is living in Tenn. She says she's pregnant with my child. What do I need to do to start a custody battle if that child is mine?

A: Is she your x-wife or x-girl friend? Were you married or divorced in Tenn? If your x is living in Tennesse permanently and the baby is born in Tennesee, Tennessee will have jurisdictio over the child to determine custody rights. If your X consents, you may be able to have your DNA matached against the unborn baby's DNA. If that is not possible, after the baby is born you would have the right to file a paternity action and request a DNA test. If it is positive and you are the father, then your next steps in court would be establishing parenting tima, decision making and establishing child support.

 

TOPIC: CUSTODY & VISITATION

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